Miracles – guest Post by my Hobbit

In ASL, the sign for miracle is “wonderful happening.” The ASL sign manages to be much less problematic than the English word.

So Jesus rose from the dead? That’s a wonderful happening. Jesus walked on the water? That’s a wonderful happening too. You just got a job? Wonderful happening. Your wife had a baby? Wonderful happening! Your cat had kittens? Well that’s wonderful too, but I’m not sure that’s actually a happening. You got a cochlear implant? Hmmm… well, that’s your choice.

Okay, I guess sometimes the concept is problematic even in ASL.

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/icpinsaneclownposse/miracles.html

–by Sam Campbell, aka Noelle’s Hobbit 🙂

This is why I never lack for short story ideas…

Him: Well, I’m ready. I’m gonna go and show off my sexy new hairstyle. 😛
Me: ok, remember that your wife loves you as you fend off all the girls throwing themselves at you
Him: I will. It will be difficult, but I will be true. 😀
Him: Teasing. Nobody pays any attention to me outside of class.
Him: I’m not really one of them. I might as well wear a sign that says NOT A NARC

Me: lol
Him: 21 Jump The Shark Street
Me: i doubt anyone thinks the blind man is the narc…
Him: heh 🙂
Me: but it would make a hilarious story
Him: yeah

Blinded by the light

Him: speaking of which, I tried to use that other flashlight, but you took it back. so I need a decent flashlight like that one. Like the other one you gave me
Me:  Well … it is my flashlight.  I don’t remember giving you a flashlight at all.
Him: yes, well
Me:I didn’t know you needed one
Him: yeah I have asked a few times for one like the other one I have. I can just use that one and not bother trying to remember to take it in my bag.
Me: I didn’t know you had one.  But I will get you another one soon
Him: k
Me: It’s just that I don’t normally go to the store, pass by the flashlights and think “Oh yeah! The blind man needs a flashlight! You know… so he can see in the dark… or something…” But I’ll put it on my shopping list 😛

Define Normal

The Hobbit and I went to go see the Hobbit movie in matching Hobbit T-Shirts at the Memorial City Mall in Houston on New Years Day.

When my Hobbit is using his cane, people get out of the way, which is kinda nice–by that, I mean it shows that people are still considerate when they understand the situation.  Someone (who wasn’t handicapped) was sitting in the handicapped seats right in the middle of the theater.  They got up when they saw us coming and moved into the normal seating.  I thought that was nice.

The trailers started, and since my Hobbit isn’t fully blind, but remembering he is fully deaf without his cochlear implant, he can sometimes read and understand the huge words that stream on the screen.  We were watching a Mini Cooper commercial:  – the end of this commercial says “Who wants to be normal?” – my Hobbit read that and said out loud: Me!

For me it was a moment of clarity.  I know that my Hobbit really hates when people admire him for his ability to endure his disabilities.  He thinks somehow they are feeling pity for him, instead of actually admiring his skills, albeit skills that are not ‘normal’ for most of us.  That is where the clarity came:  One man’s normal is another man’s extraordinary.

I love my Hobbit (obviously).  My life has been ‘not normal’ for several years now and I think it has improved vastly because of it.  I have learned a new language, my writing has improved, my adventures are almost daily, and I have a kingdom of my own filled with magic windows, Hobbits (at least one of my own), bogs of Eternal Stench (the kids room), and so much more.

I’m glad for not being normal.

But… then again… I’ve never thought of myself as normal.  Have you?

Good To See You!… Well… Not Really

My husband and I went shopping this morning for snacks and drinks to give to the ASL Missionaries when they come over and help with a project. We have the LDS Missionaries (specifically the ASL speaking ones) over a lot to help with things that the Hobbit is not able to do because of his vision loss.

So we are at Randalls, just finishing up our shopping trip, getting into the car with our goodies, when someone pulls up alongside us. He waves and I recognize him. I roll down the window and say “Hi!” He waves back and my husband asks who it is, because even though he’s only really a door’s length away from us, my Hobbit can’t see him. I tell my Hobbit that it’s Brother So and So from our Ward (he’s also our Home Teacher) My Hobbit brightens, turns and waves. “Hello!” he says. “We are just buying snacks for the missionaries!” We nod and small talk for a few moments and then it’s time to go so the Hobbit says “It’s good to see you!” and I start pulling away when he says: “Well, not really.”

It’s funny because even though he can’t see him, he’ll still use those idioms. What’s funnier is when we’re at home and I’m talking to him in ASL and he says he can’t hear me…

Ah, the life of a Hobbit.

Jedi Mind Tricks – Magiking Your Husband Away

Today my husband and I went on reconnaissance to Sam’s Club. We do this to refill the freezer and the emergency kits. Inevitably, the Hobbit needs to be fed–It’s way past second breakfast–so we usually pick up a hotdog combo. My hobbit was munching his grundage while we were shopping. It was just a small trip (under 200 dollars) but drinking 32 ounces of Dr. Pepper will make a hobbit need to find relief. He toddled off to use the hobbits room while I checked out. He just got back when my cashier was finishing up our purchase. I handed the Hobbit his Dr. Pepper cup and fingerspelled “refill” to him. He, of course, was happy to have another 32 ounces of liquid energy, so he went right off to refill his cup.

I heard “OH!” from my checker and turned to him. He laughed and said “That was funny.”

“What?” I asked.

“Your husband came up, you waved your hand and he totally turned right back around like you had waved him off.”

“Oh, he’s deaf, I was just fingerspelling to him to get a refill.” I said.

“Yeah, I finally got that, but at first it was like you had just waved him back to where he came from without even speaking and he didn’t even speak back. It was like you telepathically said ‘go over there’ and he just did.”

“Heh. Jedi Mind Trick.” I said and went to reclaim my Hobbit.

I explained this all to him and he laughed while I waved my hand in front of his face. “Jedi Mind Trick,” I signed to him. He laughed again and again and again as he kept thinking of the adventure I just had.

My life is truly full of magic.

Getting A Blind Mans Attention

For the deaf, what is recommended to get their attention is blinking lights off and on. It is supposed to be the equal of a whistle or shout among the hearing. Add some blindness in the mix and suddenly your light off and on better be a floodlight. I tried turning in and off my lamp this dark morning to no avail. Maybe I should get a flashlight with a narrow beam?

Better Than A Reality Show

Whenever my dad comes to visit and see’s all the things we deal with on a normal, everyday basis, he will remark how our household would make a great reality show. It would be much better than Jersey Shore, I’m sure, and probably a lot more culturally edifying–at least Deaf Culturally edifying. You could probably learn a lot about how to handle broken glass and the many uses outside of Christmas for string lights. You would probably learn a lot more ASL than either my children, my brothers or my nephews. You might not need to use it as badly, but you’d be welcomed to visit.