Hobbit Fables #1

My husband and I were talking about the kids and their incessant whining this morning–mom is so evil! She makes me do dishes!–when the Hobbit came up with this lovely Fable that reflects our lives:

 

A dad had kids who refused to eat end pieces of bread. So he told his kids: “Hey, kids, the end pieces are like rolls. You like rolls, so you shouldn’t have a problem with the end pieces of bread.” So the kids quit eating rolls.

 

Jedi Mind Tricks – Magiking Your Husband Away

Today my husband and I went on reconnaissance to Sam’s Club. We do this to refill the freezer and the emergency kits. Inevitably, the Hobbit needs to be fed–It’s way past second breakfast–so we usually pick up a hotdog combo. My hobbit was munching his grundage while we were shopping. It was just a small trip (under 200 dollars) but drinking 32 ounces of Dr. Pepper will make a hobbit need to find relief. He toddled off to use the hobbits room while I checked out. He just got back when my cashier was finishing up our purchase. I handed the Hobbit his Dr. Pepper cup and fingerspelled “refill” to him. He, of course, was happy to have another 32 ounces of liquid energy, so he went right off to refill his cup.

I heard “OH!” from my checker and turned to him. He laughed and said “That was funny.”

“What?” I asked.

“Your husband came up, you waved your hand and he totally turned right back around like you had waved him off.”

“Oh, he’s deaf, I was just fingerspelling to him to get a refill.” I said.

“Yeah, I finally got that, but at first it was like you had just waved him back to where he came from without even speaking and he didn’t even speak back. It was like you telepathically said ‘go over there’ and he just did.”

“Heh. Jedi Mind Trick.” I said and went to reclaim my Hobbit.

I explained this all to him and he laughed while I waved my hand in front of his face. “Jedi Mind Trick,” I signed to him. He laughed again and again and again as he kept thinking of the adventure I just had.

My life is truly full of magic.

Mad Blind Man Skillz

So… The Chinese try to suppress a blind man and get embarrassed when he escapes.  Why did they do this?  Did they not see any of the episodes of Kung Fu where a full band of ninja’s can’t beat a single blind man?  Have they not read a single Daredevil comic?  And what about Star Trek: the Next Generation?  Don’t they know the mad engineering skills of the blind?

I have seen the mad skills of the blind for myself.  My husband was talked into a game of horseshoes just a few weeks ago.  His first shot was a ringer.  He played the sighted man to a draw.  Those are mad blind man skilz.

There are many more skills, of course: the ability to find a way to break just about anything AND they can find almost anything… usually things they don’t really want to find, and almost always with their (bare) feet.

Can you imagine the power of a unit entirely composed of blind men.  They don’t need daggers or guns, just a cane.  I don’t know why the military has never harnessed the power of the blind into an entire unit of such destruction and elite power of empathy that even the hardened veterans of the Navy Seals would have to tremble–or at least stand back from the swinging blind cane while trying to decide what is to be done.

Blind men have powarz and skilz that should not be misunderestimated.