Lights were a big theme in my marriage to Sam. Yesterday I took the lights in our room down. It made me emotional and moody the entire day. I tried to explain why to a friend, but Sam said it better:


Is this not a reason for tears if I shed them? Whether for joy, grief or just pure emotion, the tears are there because the memory is beautiful.

Natural Man Is An Enemy To God … or the benefits of being married to a blind man

Today at work we were joking how Michelle Obama could probably, literally, and legally, kick the Presidents arse.  We speculated that she kept him in line pretty well, but there were moments like these:

that you really can’t be to sure about.

In defense of the President, the only male involved in our conversation said,what many men  say about events like this, “It’s a natural male reaction.  You can’t blame him for looking”

Women have heard the “it’s natural” argument being made not just by men, but by lady shrinks who think that if a woman just understood and accepted a man’s ‘nature,’ everything would be better.  Why should women accept a man’s nature without comment?  Do men accept, without complaining, PMS, menstruation, not wanting sex, headaches, nagging, or anything else that comes ‘naturally’ to women?

I have heard this argument given through my first marriage, but now I am married to a man who is above that nature.  My husband doesn’t complain much about my nature  (or at least he’s smart enough not to let me see/hear it) and–here is one of the perks of being married to a blind man–he can’t see well enough to ogle women in public.  Sometimes he can barely tell if it’s me when I’m four feet from him, so he’s definitely not looking at the women as they pass by.

This isn’t to say he wouldn’t like to, or that he doesn’t enjoy watching scantily clad women in movies even though he has to sit with his nose on the screen to see them and can’t possibly see both cleavage and exposed midsection at the same time unless there is some miraculous split screen.  I’m just saying it is SO much work for him to try and be a ‘natural’ man when it comes to ogling women, that he seems perfectly satisfied to let me be his focus when it comes to that ‘natural’ urge.

I do appreciate this and in return, I try not to be as ‘natural’ around him too.  AND… I never make him buy tampons.

Still, I can’t tell you how reassuring it is that when my husband says “you are the most beautiful woman I know,” that he is not just judging my looks – because he’s mostly blind – he’s judging me on those things a woman often vainly hopes a man will judge her for: What’s inside.