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Shame on You…

My friend posted the below (S) in the LDS mid singles group on facebook (yes, I am single now and ‘mid’ aged) and I messaged her telling her how LUCKY I was to have been in a marriage and had a man that exemplified all of the things below.  She said: WE in the singles and divorced group need to hear such things. It will keep our minds directed in the paths we need to go.
So I told her I would come up with a reply.  I’ve pasted it below under her original post.
 
S:
“The counsel from the Apostle Paul is most beautiful and to the point. He said simply, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church” (Ephesians 5:25).
“In latter-day revelation the Lord speaks again of this obligation. He said, “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else” (D&C 42:22). To my knowledge there is only one other thing in all scripture that we are commanded to love with all our hearts, and that is God Himself. Think what that means!”
“This kind of love can be shown for your wives in so many ways. First and foremost, nothing except God Himself takes priority over your wife in your life—not work, not recreation, not hobbies. Your wife is your precious, eternal helpmate—your companion.”
“What does it mean to love someone with all your heart? It means to love with all your emotional feelings and with all your devotion. Surely when you love your wife with all your heart, you cannot demean her, criticize her, find fault with her, or abuse her by words, sullen behavior, or actions.”
“What does it mean to “cleave unto her”? It means to stay close to her, to be loyal and faithful to her, to communicate with her, and to express your love for her”.22
“Husbands and wives who love each other will find that love and loyalty are reciprocated.”
Teachings of the Presidents of the Church. Ezra Taft Benson
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Noelle C Campbell: My late husband, Sam, was a wonderful example of the above and he did it as much as a non member (he was not a member when we married) as he did as a priesthood holder (We were sealed in Houston, Temple). I think, in part, he worked hard at being a good husband and father (he was a step dad to my children) because he felt this was his chance, his opportunity to prove that he COULD do it DESPITE his disabilities. Sam was deaf and legally blind. ( read this: https://withclosedcaptions.wordpress.com/…/an-hour-in…/ to get an idea of what he would go through in a ‘normal’ day). He had to try really really hard to do anything you and I would consider routine, and he did that, and more for me. I saw all of this. I saw all of the struggles he went through and I knew it.was.for.me. It made me want to be better. A better wife, a better mom, a better woman. I think I did become a better person. Sam always thought I was better than he was, his past was tainted, he said, but I never could agree. His actions spoke so loudly. He worked SO hard. I know that if a deaf blind man can work that hard just for one woman (and though he said I could be the Angelina Jolie of the deafblind world, I know I am just your average pretty, middle aged woman) and his two step children, that much more is expected and indeed required of a fully able man. This is not saying that the ONUS is on you, but really, you should be ashamed of yourself if you can’t do better than a deafblind man…

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And then I cried.

God I love that man.  I talk about him all the time.  Still working slowly on that biography/autobiography.  Sometimes it hits me out of nowhere how much I miss him, like today and everything feels fresh.  Like it just happened yesterday…

About Noelle Campbell

This blog is about my life and how I see things. I write, I think, I dream, I do. I used to write a lot of fantasy until I realized I was living one. I was married to a deaf-blind Hobbit in a realm we created together. He passed away in 2014, but our life was interesting enough I think you might like it too.