Today was rough. I went to church. I got hugs. I thought I was okay. I am not really sure what did it, but I started crying, thinking of you. I cried for at least half of the meeting. Our wards were split, but that want the reason I was crying. It was the reason other people were crying though and so I fit right in and didn’t really look like the complete basket case I am today. I cried of and on all day today. I had a horrible headache, of course, by the afternoon.
I got a parakeet today from Holly.
I asked my home teacher to come by this week to give me a blessing. I really feel like I have got to pull it together. I know this is all “normal” but I really can’t tell the creditors and utilities and the mortgage company that I just can’t seem to get my head on straight. I really have to pull it all together and get things moving efficiently and as smoothly as possible. I’ve called an insurance agent about combining house, life and auto insurance. I have common sense care for medical vision and dental. I want to see if I can get aflac. But I am not sure what I can afford. Starting next month I lose your benefits. I still have to pay a lawyer. I have the sainted renter who is still paying full rent, even though we and I told him he could stay for no charge, but I need to make up 700$ more. I am going to rent out the rooms but only one is really ready. I am not ready however, and the house is a disaster (compared to when you managed it). This is another thing I feel like I really need to pull together for. It really bothers me that even my room is not clean. It is getting there,I think, but finding places for things after pulling everything out of closets (maybe that wasn’t the best idea…) has been slow.
I miss you horribly.