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The Problem With Pain

I have fibromyalgia, so I know a little bit about how pain can drain you. The pain I had from fibro had never really been intense, but just a constant draining ache. I thought that was bad, but it never induced me to take a lot of pain killers and seemed easy enough to just bear it, because my fibro seems to go through ‘phases’ and will diminish in pain depending on where it is in the cycle.

Recently I have had a toothache that has progressed to a headache/earache, but being a weekend, there was no appointments to be had, so I had to just endure it. I have taken Advil, aspirin, garlic, antihistamines, anything to reduce the inflammation, but the pain is still there and intense. It’s really only been two days, but it has been so intense that it drives me to distraction. The one thing I have gained from this experience is a deeper understanding of people suffering from chronic pain. I can’t imagine being constantly in intense pain. Two days and I’m already thinking I would drive to 8 hours Mexico just to buy something to give me a little relief. I think I understand why people get addicted to pain killers, not just because of the chemical addiction of many of them, but just the desire to end the pain.

I imagine that emotional pain (and the self medication that follows with that) has a similar problem.  When you just want to FEEL good, a bar of chocolate is a good temporary solution.  When you just want to feel NOTHING, alcohol or drugs does the job for a time.  But just like pain killers, the after effects (my father suffered kidney failure from an over prescription of pain killers) are often worse than the original problem.

All that being said–I can’t wait for Monday, for a doctor to prescribe me some pain killers (and antibiotics).


PS, I want to thank all of you who have helped with our CI upgrade fund at GoFundMe.  My Hobbit and I seem to survive every month since I left my job to deal with the rapid onset of the Hobbit’s blindness through a series of small miracles that usually come in the form of a human being like you.  Thank you for being our miracle.

About Noelle Campbell

This blog is about my life and how I see things. I write, I think, I dream, I do. I used to write a lot of fantasy until I realized I was living one. I was married to a deaf-blind Hobbit in a realm we created together. He passed away in 2014, but our life was interesting enough I think you might like it too.