Jedi Mind Tricks – Magiking Your Husband Away

Today my husband and I went on reconnaissance to Sam’s Club. We do this to refill the freezer and the emergency kits. Inevitably, the Hobbit needs to be fed–It’s way past second breakfast–so we usually pick up a hotdog combo. My hobbit was munching his grundage while we were shopping. It was just a small trip (under 200 dollars) but drinking 32 ounces of Dr. Pepper will make a hobbit need to find relief. He toddled off to use the hobbits room while I checked out. He just got back when my cashier was finishing up our purchase. I handed the Hobbit his Dr. Pepper cup and fingerspelled “refill” to him. He, of course, was happy to have another 32 ounces of liquid energy, so he went right off to refill his cup.

I heard “OH!” from my checker and turned to him. He laughed and said “That was funny.”

“What?” I asked.

“Your husband came up, you waved your hand and he totally turned right back around like you had waved him off.”

“Oh, he’s deaf, I was just fingerspelling to him to get a refill.” I said.

“Yeah, I finally got that, but at first it was like you had just waved him back to where he came from without even speaking and he didn’t even speak back. It was like you telepathically said ‘go over there’ and he just did.”

“Heh. Jedi Mind Trick.” I said and went to reclaim my Hobbit.

I explained this all to him and he laughed while I waved my hand in front of his face. “Jedi Mind Trick,” I signed to him. He laughed again and again and again as he kept thinking of the adventure I just had.

My life is truly full of magic.

Things I can get away with

I try hard not to take advantage of the fact my husband is blind. I don’t use his disabled parking placard when he is not with me. I don’t tell him something is blue when it is brown, even if I wish he’d wear more blue. Sometimes I just don’t say anything about certain things unless he notices. That’s nothing a normal wife wouldn’t do, right? It’s really no big deal that he finally noticed the hello kitty shower curtain I’ve been using as a liner on the shower for months. Right?

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What Is Missing

This week my husband told me that he feared it wouldn’t be long before he lost all ability to see. He was having problems seeing text. At about size 40 point. I sometimes will try to share a funny lolcat or cartoon that he simply cannot see well enough to perceive the humor. Soon he won’t be able to see me enough to comment on my hair or lipstick. All I will have in my sensory arsenal is my perfume. Gravity and age ( and inability to afford plastic surgery or personal trainers) are already starting to take a toll on my body shape.

Today at church there was a musical presentation of “Jesu, Joy of Mans Desire” and it was beautiful. I have to enjoy it alone, apart from my husband. Sometimes it is bittersweet. I can always describe it to him and use all my finest writers skills.

It is a challenge I have never looked forward to–trying to find ways outside of sight and sound to express beauty to my husband. It is already such a hard thing to try and stay connected and overcome the normal challenges of men and women without having to deal with communication issues far beyond what most people can relate to or comprehend.

It is about to get more complicated.

I am not asking for sympathy. I have had four years to try and mentally prepare for this while my husband has had a lifetime. Empathy would be great. If someone had a similar experience and could help me prepare and deal with what is to come that would be great. But it is such a rare circumstance that I do not have much hope of empathy.

In absence of empathy I presume the best thing would be prayer. Your prayers for us in this time would be most appreciated.

ASL in the Internet Age

My husband and I had chatted with one another long before I learned ASL. Our primary communication was in text and as such, we used a lot of net speak. LOL IMO TTYL Those abbreviations made their way into our conversations once we transitioned into ASL. Most of our deaf friends are just as savvy when it comes to net speak. Their primary mode of communication with the hearing is not a pencil and pad, but a cell phone text message (or message screen).

If I sign “brb” my deaf friends know exactly what I mean. Some of interpreters are a little kerfluffled by it but language always changes and evolves no matter how hard people try to keep it static. Every Language has been influenced by inside and from outside. How else could ‘macho’ become a Russian slang word? There’s no telling what will influence such a rapidly evolving language like ASL but the Internet is sure to be part of it.