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A Deafblind Man of You Own – Act Now!

There are complications to being married to a deaf-blind man.  “But Noelle, what could possibly outweigh the benefits of being married to the unparalleled bliss of sexiness that is your average deaf-blind man?” You may ask.  Normally, the sheer joy of possessing my very own deaf-blind man makes me forget, or at the very least, put aside the fact that my whites clothes are washed with dark clothes.  I am flattered he thinks my daughters size zero clothes are mine, of course.  Most people would consider those mere trifles if they considered them a bother at all–which I most certainly do not!  I don’t want to make you envious of me.  I assure you that there are plenty of single deaf-blind men for each and every woman in desperate need of one.  I’m just trying to enlighten you on the very minimal, hardly worth mentioning really, complications involved with an inter aural marriage and the slight complication that vision impairment adds to it.

There are a few drawbacks.  First, you really can’t complain that your deafblind man is too touchy-feely.  Also, a deafblindman can be high maintenance.  Where a beautiful woman (or man) might require excessive salon services, and maybe a plastic surgeon, a deafblind man is in constant need of reading material.  Technology can help with this last drawback, and a larger than average libido can handle the first.

A clean floor and minimal breakables is also one of those high maintenance issues.  If you have a favorite porcelain doll, or vases, or anything even mildly ceramic in nature, it is in your best interests to invest in shelves installed higher than your deafblind man’s height.   Anything you leave on the floor is in jeopardy.  Clutter is an almost unbearable burden for any deafblind man (though mine tolerates my clutter if I just keep it on my desk 😛 )

Pets are not too much of an issue.  Cats and Dogs that do not run from your deafblind man will probably be trampled, kicked and occasionally sent into orbit, but it will only happen a few times before they learn to avoid him, though they always seem to forget when food is involved.  You will probably get trampled on, smacked, sideswiped with a cane or other object in your deafblind man’s hands, but I am sure it is not as bad as getting your tail squished by the deafblind man’s desk chair.

There are a few other minor niggles, but they are best managed one on one with your own deafblind man.  Just looking at him, in all his sexiness, might make you forget the little problems that can crop up, so I hope this blog article has been useful in helping remind you that, although his eyes are as blue as the sky, you may be seeing stars when he whips his cane out while you are around.

To procure your very own deafblind man, feel free to volunteer at any Lighthouse for the Blind (ours is in Houston, look for the one nearest you) or at American Association for the Deaf Blind.

Act now! Supplies are limited!  Operators (and Intervenors) are standing by!

About Noelle Campbell

This blog is about my life and how I see things. I write, I think, I dream, I do. I used to write a lot of fantasy until I realized I was living one. I was married to a deaf-blind Hobbit in a realm we created together. He passed away in 2014, but our life was interesting enough I think you might like it too.

5 responses to “A Deafblind Man of You Own – Act Now!

  1. My ex was blind (total) and all the attributes mentioned above are really only related to the blindness IMHO. He had a short sword that he kept sharpened and once he whirled around with it and everyone in the room hit the floor. No, he didn’t get anyone but it was a near thing – he thought it rather funny until I hid the short sword.

    As to wash – I got color catchers. If you don’t have any, I highly recommend them. It will preserve those whites – and you can use them over and over again.

    I gave up on wall decorations in any area in which he could be – which means I gave up on decorations that were not murals painted on the walls.


    • Right. But a blind man hears when someone has been stepped on or smacked. A dead blind man does not.

      • LOL I do hope you mean a “deaf blind” rather than a “dead blind” ’cause I totally agree the dead blind guy is totally unaware of anyone else. (ROFL) Sorry, I love typos sometimes.

        However, a blind person can still tell if he has stepped on someone – and my former husband has such bad balance he’d probably have fallen down and damaged himself because of his reaction to stepping on something.

        If you whack someone with a cane (unless you think it is the wall) ya can still tell there’s an impact. Just sayin… Of course, mine could hear the screams… (LOL)

        Interestingly enough I was the “deafie” (although I had some hearing) and he was the totally blind guy (used JFW for reading on the computer) and was the kitchen guru who was required to put down the large, economy size butcher knives if I was to come in the room.

    • iPhone has a mind of its own. It never likes those two words together.

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