There is a myth that any CODA or spouse of a deaf person can dismiss: Deaf people are quiet.
There are different degrees of deafness, as you might already know. Some people can hear high tones or low tones. I have a lot of deaf friends that can hear me when I cough. Many deaf people wear hearing aids to pick up loud noises (like horns or alarms), but there are deaf people, like my husband, who are (without technology) deaf as a stone.
You might still be wondering how that makes them loud, since most deaf people don’t speak/voice. But that is only because you are so used to ‘noise’ in your world that you forget how much of it is made. Most of it is situational. You are used to hearing the noises of people cooking and shifting glasses at a restaurant. You don’t even notice the noise of splashing if you are at a pool. But imagine that you hear someone in the middle of the night in the kitchen opening and closing cupboards, tossing stuff into the sink, and generally making the racket that you ignore at dinnertime, because it’s noise you’re used to while you’re cooking.
It’s the loud noise in a situation that normally wouldn’t happen. It might be perfectly quiet in the room, maybe a library, everyone reading silently and suddenly ACHOOOOO! A deaf person has little idea how loud they sneeze even if they do have a hearing aid on. They slam doors. They set off car alarms and walk away, oblivious. And lets not even talk about snoring…
All of us who live with the deaf know it’s not just the noises they unwittingly make at high volume that make living with them an adventure, it’s also the sounds they make on purpose that are unusual and sometimes unexpected like the strange pitch sounds they make toward their children to get their attention “ba-ba-ba” or “deet deet deet!” Sometimes something akin to Frankensteins Monster “uuuuh!” All of which are reasons CODA‘s (especially as teenagers) are very reluctant to hang around their deaf parents. Those that do voice often have strange accents and the inability to roll their r’s or hear the subtle difference between Cola and Kolache. Meaning you might get an odd request for a cheese cola.
Of course, their world is still just as quiet as always. But for all the hearing people around them, the myth they are quiet is a powerful illusion that still lives in their head because they are quiet a good deal of the time. But when they aren’t, they are REALLY loud.